The last few weeks have brought very intense experiences into my life. My whole being has been involved emotionally, physically and spiritually. Now I am exhausted and beginning to put myself back together. This is our life. We go through periods of intensity and get spit out on the other side.
I believe we are not meant to remain in stasis for too long. I believe we have an innate urge to grow continually and our life is the fodder for that growth to occur. It is up to us though to consciously participate.
For me I participate by meditating, journaling, walking, contemplating, allowing my feelings to flow and asking questions. What do I know now that I did not know before about myself? What beliefs about myself do I want to let go? What new beliefs do I want to create?
Life in general appears to be an infinite procession of experiences lived moment to moment. Sometimes we feel badly. Sometimes we have a sense of wellbeing. Sometimes we just feel neutral. But I believe the purpose in all of this is growth; becoming more alive and self expressive. It is a unique process for each one of us and I believe growth to be the most important self discovery of all.
How have your life’s experiences helped you become more aware?
On Sunday, October 5, early in the morning a dear friend of mine died. We all had known for some time that Richard’s death was imminent and so many loving friends and family had literally been waiting for this news. And it came…
When I found out a huge wave of relief permeated my whole body and soul. I quickly resumed my schedule of activities for the day until subtly at first and then louder I felt in my body a demanding urgency to sit and be still! Now I could feel the pain and ache in my belly.
My friend Richard taught me about the power of silence in sitting and meditating. As I opened to a deeper awareness through stopping all activity and quieting my mind, something wonderful began to emerge within me. I now felt warmth spread out from my center – love. Tears began to fall.
Jack Kornfield shares in his book, The Wise Heart: A guide to the universal teachings of Buddhist psychology, ‘When we are lost in our worst crises and conflicts, in the deepest states of fear and confusion, our pain can seem endless. We can feel as if there is no hope. Yet some hidden wisdom longs for freedom…Awakening this inner freedom of spirit is the purpose of the hundreds of Buddhist practices and trainings.’
Now is the beginning of my next phase in Richard’s illness and now his death. Death is final but life is here, now, and I am experiencing this one breath at a time.
What is your experience with stillness?